Two Point Conversion #3: SMU vs. UNT

D F W-T-F: SMU vs. UNT

Nicole from Dallas, TX:
Alright guys, SMU visits cross-town rival UNT this week, with both teams coming off dismal displays against in-state powerhouses. Does either team even deserve to win this game, and which one will?


LUKE:

Before I start, I want to say that I loved every bit of every minute of the three years I spent at SMU completing a semester and a half’s worth of work, and not just because all the sorority girls are beautiful and nearly always drunk (though they are). I think the students, the campus, the city, and even the football team is wonderful. I say that knowing that what I’m about to say next is going to garner me a lot of flak from the veritable tens of SMU students, faculty, fans, and cheerleaders who read this (I’m looking in your direction, Jacobsen). Here goes.

It’s that time of year again, time for the annual least-watched-game in all of college football, which this year goes to this week’s sleepy-time matchup, SMU vs. UNT, two teams chock-full of sought-after recruits who just weren't quite good enough to start for their high school teams. Predicting this game is a bit like predicting which Olsen twin will get the better Christmas present this year. The real answer is “who the fuck cares?” and the only people who do care are a little bit sick, a little bit obsessed, and have far too much time on their hands. This contest is the ultimate undercard. If Viddy, Patrick, and I had a contest for who could drink the most beer without throwing up all over each other’s girlfriends, the SMU-UNT game would be the non-televised event of the evening, the warm-up match before the real fight gets underway. It’s that boring. Together, these two teams might put up fewer points than FSU and Miami put up rushing yards. I’m serious. (ed: In case you missed the game Monday night, FSU and Miami combined for 3 rushing yards. That’s right, three.)

Last week, each team played the customary away-game-massacre-at-the-hands-of-a-Big-12-school, with UNT crumbling 56-7 to national champion Texas, and SMU managing just 3 points to the 35 racked up by Texas Tech. Neither of these performances is particularly inspiring, but I’ve got to believe that scoring a whole touchdown against a team with the heavyweight belt around its waist counts for a little more than limping out with only a field goal against the Phoenix Suns of college football, a team with a defense so traditionally suspect that even Mike Martz thinks they should man up and tackle somebody.

Listen, Mustangs. Don’t despair. You’re clearly a team on the rise; your players are buying into Coach Bennett’s philosophy, and you won more games last year than in any of the previous eight. Hell, you even beat TCU last year, one week after they embarrassed Oklahoma in Norman. Nobody would love to see you win this weekend more than me. Of course, nobody would love to see me wake up next to Mischa Barton more than me, either. Neither one is likely to happen on Saturday, though, unless Mischa starts returning my phone calls.

At least you’ve still got that iron skillet, eh, SMU?




BRIAN:

Wow, It’s the DFW Pillow Fight of the Week. Who will win: SMU or UNT? That’s like asking whose coaching shorts smell worse after a 100-degree afternoon practice, Charlie Weis’s or Bill Parcells’s? Does anyone really want to know?

I guess that in this battle of teams who had their respective lunches handed to them by what many consider to be the two best teams in the Big 12, you have to look at what the teams were able to accomplish. UNT was able to manage 80 total yards of offense against Texas and that’s with negative 8 yards being put forth in the rushing game, most of them coming on one drive, the showing of a team that is solid enough that it is only able to get all cylinders firing together for ONE series of an entire game. Look out, Big 12! The frightening part about this is that it means that UNT’s passing game was its only silver lining. Silver lining? Is that the term we want to use? No, wait bronze lining…no…ok, rusty colored lining. Yeah, that’s it. The passing game was their sharp, jagged, rusty lining. And good news, if the passing game was UNTs only shining spot, Mean Green fans can look forward to the fact that Coach Dickey derailed that by replacing his starting quarterback and putting a freshman under center this week. I know what all you are thinking: what does this mean? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, it’s UNT for Pete’s sake.

The great running game of both North Texas and the high-powered Sunbelt High School Football League came through in midseason form to show that no matter what numbers they put up in conference play, you cannot, under any circumstance, take them seriously. This would be like getting your current events from the supermarket tabloids, things your grandmother told you, or FOX News. To their credit, they were able to score a touchdown on Texas, and they were even able to make the extra point too. Take that, naysayers!

On the other side, the SMU Ponies were only able to manage a field goal against what many still consider a suspect defense. After coming out to a quick, but commanding, 3-point lead, SMU ran the ball for most of the game and managed 118 yards rushing, but only 71 in the air. Defensively, SMU was unable to take advantage of the fact that Tech’s offensive line’s splits are nearly as wide as the marching band’s, but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to the SMU faithful who have come to expect weekly endeavors of being over-matched and finding ways to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory. I don’t put as much stock in the 500 yards SMU gave up only because both Tech, and surprisingly SMU, regularly put up numbers like that. Not to be outdone, North Texas ranks last in both NCAA total offense and scoring defense. Of course, that’s not a good thing either.

I think much of this game will come down to coaching. SMU’s Phil Bennett showed his coaching prowess when he thought attempting a 49 yard field goal into the wind would be a great idea for SMU when they were already down to the high powered Tech offense. Of course the ball didn’t even make it to the end zone, but that much blind faith in hasn’t been seen since the advent of Scientology. Way to go, Phil!

My prediction: SMU coach Phil Bennett will pull out all the stops by cracking open his old Tecmo Bowl instructions manual, picking out highly coordinated plays such as “Run 1” and “Run 2.” Meanwhile, Coach Dickey, over on the UNT side, will be vehemently pleading to the fans in the student section, trying to gain some grain of credibility for some ridiculous record -- like an NCAA rushing leader or a conference winning streak that North Texas achieved while playing a conference schedule that looks strikingly like a batch of cupcakes that my mother made for me on my birthday a few years ago -- while SMU slaps them around like Uma Thurman in the beginning of Kill Bill.

SMU rolls. But hey, it's still SMU…