The Final Score (or Why I am Right and Luke is Always Wrong)

(Editor's note: Some of the follwing was written a few weeks or even months before the actual publishing of this cloumn. In these cases, 'Post Scripts' havce been added to update the information. And yes, I have been that lazy that it has taken me over a month to write this entire column, but that means you should savor it that much more. Also, I am considering this my grand comback into the world of writing. I just thought you should know that.)

Well sports fans, Viddy here. I know we never do anything to this site, but this post is living proof that spontaneity and random checking of the TPC will reward you with gems like today's post. As you might be able to tell from the title of this column, it is basically a one sided look at how much it sucks to have personal involvement, whether in life or in business, with Luke. Just kidding. Actually it is a look back at the erratic, if not sporadically architectured, predictions and bemusements that both Luke and I made in the past year...Or to put it more accurately, I would have to say: "over the course of a two and a half month period where another writer and myself ranted about and wrote our opinions regarding sporty stuff much to the dismay of freethinking people everywhere. All of this haphazardly occurring in months that presuppose the end of 2006."

Yeah. I think that says its best.

With that said, let's get on with the show...

FAVRE
Our first attempt at journalist ranting came in regards to the issue of whether Brett "He just loves to play football. He doesn't care about money. In fact, if his salary was taken away, Brett Favre would take out a small loan to play" Favre should retire. Luke's take: Yes, he should be done playing in the NFL. Viddy's take: Keep playing, in fact trade him to a team that needs a QB.

Well, it seems that I win that round. Not only did Favre throw for 3600 yards and 17 touchdowns, he kept the Packers in playoff contention until the final weeks of the season. He did both of these despite throwing 17 picks and battling the early stages of Alzheimer’s, delusion, and premature graying of the hair. Maybe this one is still a bit subjective, but I believe that had Favre been on a better team (not Oakland like I suggested...my bad on that) he would have put up even better numbers.

I admit that the guy is nearly done. Like a steak that has been sizzling on the fire for hours, his outside is dark and crispy, but deep inside he still has the warm, juicy meat that....umm, where the hell am I going with this???

The short: the guy was a borderline Pro Bowler this year. I was right, Luke was wrong.

(Post Script: I just heard the news that he is going to play for another year and it sent me into a Wikipedia frenzy to see how close he is to breaking my childhood hero/God/fantasy-world father, John Elway's NFL record for wins. Bad news Bronco Country, Favre is tied with Marino...one back of Elway. Dammit, I really was hoping that I wouldn't have to root for a tragic training camp injury, but you leave me with no choice. This is one is on you, Favre.)

Viddy--1
Luke--0

HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS
With the second installment of TPC, Luke and I butted heads over the Dallas Cowboys. I said they were Super Bowl contenders while Luke said that they were not.

There are more issues in this than a drunken phone call from Anna Nicole Smith so lets cut to the core of it all. First, this is a different team with Romo at the helm than it was with Drew Bledsoe; it's a team that can win. Second, after they established themselves as a winning team, they have proceeded to wet the proverbial bed in every big game they have played. Figure this, since beating a severely overrated Indianapolis team at Texas Stadium, the boys have been romped by the Giants, Eagles, and Saints while playing at home. Not good for a "Super Bowl team."

So what do we do? Which team is this? Is it the winning team that blossomed when Romo took over, or is it the losing team that looks to have about as much chemistry as Alex Trebeck on a date with a Paris Hilton? I would say that we have to default to what we know they are capable of, and that is winning.

Not a good enough answer? Tough. I'm calling this one in my favor.

(Post Script: So they lost to Seattle, but I maintain my stance. They should have won in Seattle and probably lost in the next round, but you never know. The Bears proved that the NFC is so weak that it was up for the taking by any team that can get hot at the right time or just be above mediocrity for the whole season. Doubt me? Why were the 49ers in the hunt then? Check and mate.)

Viddy--2
Luke--0

WHAT' CHOU TALKING ABOUT JUSTIN WILLIS?
Ok, wait. I know you fact checkers out there are going to jump on me here. Hear me out first. In this issue, Luke and I swashbuckled each other on the bow of pirate ship while debating about who would win the SMU versus UNT football match-up here in the Metroplex. Luke chimed in saying that UNT would win, while I claimed that SMU would roll.

I was wrong.

Buuuuuttttt...

More than the single game, I was very adamant about the fact that despite the outcome, SMU was a superior team. I don't think I need to remind everyone of my tirade on this site after the loss that prompted an old flame of mine (a UNT alum) to make a personal attack on the site, forcing me to turn off the comments section for about a week. Regardless, I think the record comparison speaks for itself. After all, I think SMU's 6-6 bowl-eligible record beats out UNT's 3-9 season that resulted in North Texas firing their coach. Just a thought.

Quick note: SMU blew quite a few opportunities to win one more game a secure a bowl, but hey it’s SMU, and I am used to it. Also, North Texas firing coach Dickey was a huge mistake. He led them to the only four conference titles in their history, and they canned him after only two losing seasons for an unproven coach like Todd Dodge. That would be like if Hollywood pretended 21 Jump Street and Edward Scissorhands never happened and blackballed Johnny Depp after Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare and replaced him with Pauly Shore. But that's not even the worst part. The UNT boosters threatened to pull their funding because of the move, so the university named their soon-to-be-built stadium after him. What? I will never understand this. "Thanks for everything Coach. Look at your name up there. Isn't it great?...Well don't let the door hit you on the way out! Jerk."

Nonsense, that school.

Viddy--3
Luke--0.5 (for getting the game right)

KENNY ROGERS IS A CHEATER
We didn't even talk about this, but I just wanted to see it in all caps and bold lettering. And I love it. What we did do was hold a scholarly debate over MLB wild card predictions regarding the American and National League.

Let’s go to the scorecard here, and I picked the Twinkies and the Dodgers while Luke also picked the Twins, but incorrectly chose the Marlins. Wait, I know what you're about to say: the Twins didn't win the wild card; they won the division. True, but I can also point to the fact that I chose the Tigers, who won the wild card, to win that division.

What am I driving at here? Basically I am trying to make myself feel better about just missing this pick by demonstrating that I correctly chose all three teams, just in the wrong order. There's still glory in that, right? I think so.

In a bit of an aside, I wrote a small little ditty in this same column about the Tigers and their postseason chances, which came true when the St. Louis Cardinals beat them in the World Series. Just for kicks, I'll reprint it here:

"Before I move on, I want to say something to those Detroit fans out there. Despite Detroit leading the AL in wins, batting average allowed, and former Texas Rangers, they will not win the World Series. So why am I so sold on this? Because God hates the Tigers and he wants expectations to be that much higher for when they will ultimately fail in the playoffs. Tell me I’m wrong."

I think it safe to say that being a Tigers fan is like being in love with Madonna back in 1987, but only managing to finally land a date with her in the year 2007. You're ecstatic about the fact that it's Madonna, but you can't shake the feeling that this is not what you had in mind when you first saw her twenty years ago.

As for Luke's picks? Almost, buddy. Almost.

Viddy--4
Luke--0.5

MIKE LEACH HAS A STRANGE OBSESSION WITH PIRATES
Luke and I faced the jarring issue of why Texas Tech got worked over by TCU, and their prospects of the rest of the season. I went into 800 words of glorious, mind-numbing detail just to say something simple like, "they need a defense." Luke agreed with me (smart move), but deferred to my long-windedness. I then went on to say that Tech would be OK, and would still be bowl bound.

Results: I was correct. Tech faced Minnesota in the Something or Other Bowl and staged the largest comeback in College Bowl history, wining 44-41 in overtime, and getting Minnesota's head coach fired for no reason. That's quite an achievement. That seems like the equivalent of attempting to see if your 4x4 truck can make it up a mountain, but slashing the tires and seting the engine on fire after getting stuck in the mud twenty feet from the top. Just doesn't make that much sense to me.

(Another reason the game was so impressive is that it took the SMU-BYU Holiday Bowl loss out of the records for the biggest comeback win. I wasn't even alive and I still hate BYU for this. Now if I could get just get my beloved Denver Broncos off the record for being at the ass end of the most lopsided Super Bowl ever. Damn you, Joe Montana.)

Also, Luke really kind of avoided the subject and went on a random tangent in the original column. Maybe that works for Pat, but not in a point/counter point column. That will cost you.

Viddy--5
Luke--0 (-0.5 for avoiding the question)

OH, WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN...TO CHICAGO
In our final head-to head, Luke and I faced off on the issue of whether or not the New Orleans Saints were for real this season. By now, you may be able to predict my take on them. I claimed that they were for real, but that I still wasn't sure what kind of team they were. I predicted that they would be in the upper half of the NFC and make the playoffs. Damn, I'm good. I had no idea that they would become the number two seed in the playoffs, but who could have predicted that? That is like trying to figure out how Pauly Shore gained fame back in the early to mid nineties. Just mind boggling.

(Ha! Two Pauly Shore references in one column! Wait, I'm not sure I should be proud of this.)

Honestly, I think the Saints could have beaten Chicago just as easily as they lost to them, but that's another story.

Luke wisely avoided the subject and let me handle it on my on. Good move, buddy, but even you can't hide behind your fears. I call this one a forfeit. Minus one!

(Random Note: Call me biased or call me crazy, but I think Drew Brees was the MVP this season. Yes, LT had a great season this year, and in fact, it was possibly the best season by a running back ever, but he wasn't irreplaceable. Why do I say this? Because Michael Turner could have ran for 22 TD's in that offense. That's why. There was not going to be a huge drop off if they lost him. I mean, sure, they are a different team, but they would still be contenders. Brees on the other hand, was the main catalyst for the Saints success. He took a team of rookies and cast-offs and made them the number two seed! I mean last year the Chargers were a winning team that just missed the playoffs, but the Saints were junk. They were a team without a home or a chance. That changed when Brees started chucking the ball for them. For that reason, I think he should have been the MVP. I think I need to stop talking about this before I break into my NBA rant about Dirk being the MVP.)

FINAL SCORE
Viddy--6
Luke-- -1 (-1 for a forfeit)

Conveniently, I am going to stop here and ignore whatever was written after the Saints column because it obviously has no semblance in my argument and probably doesn't matter anyways. Before I wrap this up, I think it’s easy to see that the numbers don't lie: I'm sports smart and Luke is sports dumb, sports careless, and in all likelihood sports blind. You can see from the final score, that I was right an astonishing 6 our of 6 times (my calculations) while Luke was horribly wrong in his decisions every time, much like Colin Farrell moments before agreeing to make Phone Booth. Furthermore, his negative score indicates the he, in fact, owes us one. Like Colin Farrell after making Phone Booth. Regardless, I think its time to end our little tally for this year, but we will be back with more sports knowledge and all that implies soon. Keep the questions coming in, and maybe, just maybe, we will answer them. Now if you will excuse me, I have a little high stepping over Luke's crumpled body to do; as I strut my way to the end zone.

B.Viddy